nagging: to whine, complain, belittle, have outbursts of anger, pout, insist on own way and to remind spouse of past mistakes/offenses.
Traditional wedding vows include promising to "love, honor and obey"....but not every bride chooses to use these exact words. One thing for sure, though, every bride vows to love her husband. No bride takes the hand of her husband, exchanges rings, and thinks "I am going to drive him crazy with a lifetime of complaining, pouting, whining and thanks to me he'll never forget any mistake he ever makes." No, instead we envision of a life of happiness, peace, companionship and growing old with our best friend. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, the wife forgets her vow to love and remembers only his vow to love her and somehow translates that vow to mean he is to spend his life making her happy, doing everything the way she wants. This isn't true for all women of course, but I am speaking of the nagging wife.
When a wife consistently nags her husband, she is essentially breaking her vow to love him "till death do us part". In Titus 2, the older women are instructed to teach the younger women to love their husbands. I always found this odd, thinking a wife would naturally love her husband. Those were the days when I thought of love as a feeling, and not a choice of action. Let's face it ladies, sometimes our husbands are "unlovable". Sometimes we are so exhausted from keeping house and raising the children, even the smallest request from him leaves us feeling as though the whole world is on our shoulders and "why can't he just do it himself?".
The truth is, God instructs us to love. We vowed to love. God defines love for us in 1 Corinthians 13.
When we nag (remember the definition) our husbands we are not being kind, practicing long suffering, are behaving rudely, not practicing patience etc etc. Philippians 2 tells us to regard others more highly than ourselves, putting the interest of others before our own. Wouldn't we think this applies to our husbands, whom we vowed before family, friends and God, to love?
Nagging satisfies our own desire to be heard and/or exert some sort of control over another person, namely, our husbands. We are not behaving in a lovely manner. Most of the time it is unintentional, but consistent complaining and demanding to our husbands is dishonorable to both God and our vows.
Whenever I feel myself sliding into the nagging rut, I make the effort to read/remember Philippians 4:8 and focus on that which is good for edification, keeping in mind that, like myself, my husband is fallible and imperfect.
Please come back and join me for the final devastation of nagging, part four-castrating our husbands.